Bad Santa

Asalam aleykum, my brother and sisters.

See, there are perks with being Kenyan. Lemme explain. There's this dude, who works for Kenya Power & Lighting Company (KPLC), Bad Santa, who sits on some pole with a huge switch. Whenever he felt someone doing something suspect, he would turn off your lights. Just like a "Santa", he would punish you if were a bad boy/girl/whatever.

So, I was reminiscing about the times when we tapes, also known as Cassettes, were the prime movie source. So there was this time, i just discovered porn, so i was chillin' then suddenly, the lights went out.

Shit, do you know how much beef i would be in, if my parents came home from work and found Wesley Pipes & Mary Hoe-kins bang'n on the screen.

I'm tellin' you, seriously, Bad Santa was such a cockblocker or in this case, joy taker. Back then things were really thick, so when tapes would get dirty, we would open them upm, spray my Dad's cologne on some cloth & wipe the video head. Yeah, we were so cheap we couldn't buy the tape cleaners. I'm from the hood nucca!

Anyway, due to my cheapness, i lived another day to enjoy my favourite pass time.

Militant out.